Motivations in Life

If you do then read on!!!  

There are principally two ways in which the human being is motivated in life. They either move towards what they want or move away from what they don't want. If you want consistent results in life then moving towards what you want is the most effective AND easiest way to achieve what you want, and then holding onto it! 

If you want a life that is up and down where, you get near to what you want and then have a crisis, and then have to do it all again, then the 'away from' strategy will work for you! The graph illustrates the sort of life that is a result of moving away from what you want. 

Unfortunately it is not as easy as just saying - I am going to be motivated towards what I want. Our behaviour is run by our unconscious and that determines ultimately how and why we motivate ourselves to move either towards what we want or away from what we don't want. 

The majority of people in the western world run 'away from' strategies - in other words they consistently try and move away from what they don't want or fear, and then when they have moved far enough away from whatever it is (e.g poverty) , they will create an unconscious crisis in their life, so they can plunge back and be remotivated again to move away again. Hence the life of consistent up and downs. So somewhere in your unconscious you will be running a program that will determine your motivation strategy at the deepest unconscious level. 

So let's see how an "away from" life looks in the different areas of life. 

Everyday Life Ever heard the expression "I'm getting away for the weekend" or "it will be good to get away from it all". These are the giveaways in our language for what we are doing at the unconscious level.

 A holiday could be a reward for all the hard work that you have put in during the year OR it could be your way of getting away from everyday life (which you don't like). It's an interesting thought that a holiday can either be a reward or an 'escape'. Let's see what happens when you come back from your holiday? The person who is motivated towards what they want will say "great holiday, and let's put another in the calendar as a reward for all the hard work that we will be doing in the next year".

They then will move towards the next holiday becoming increasingly motivated as they get closer to it. The person motivated by moving away from what they fear or don't want will return home and say "great holiday but it was too short and now I am back to reality". They are focussing of course on what they don't want in life - maybe the routine of life, maybe they have a boring life, may be they have a life full of problems. Whatever they are focussing on they will of course get! How about the term "I am going to move away from here" when it comes to moving house". 

Many people move house to get away from something in their life rather than move towards what they want in life. Of course whatever they 'try' and move away from they are focussing on so it will regenerate itself in perhaps another way in their new home. 

Relationships

Here is a big one. Do you or have you in the past changed a relationship to get away from what you don't want or have you changed it to move towards what you want. If you have a history of poor relationships you are probably moving away from what you don't want in life and, it keeps regenerating itself. The thing is that until you rid yourself of the focus of what you don't want, things will not change.

You will continue to have relationships that look like the graph! Now here is the thing. On the basis of perception is projection (the theory from Carl Jung that what you see in others is often a reflection of something you are not happy within yourself), then if you have a history of poor relationships maybe you are running away from yourself! Maybe the problems you perceive in your relationship are with you, and not your partner? 

Moving away from what you don't want, in the context of relationships does NOT work! People who move towards what they want in relationships will tend to have longer and increasingly happy relationships.

Career

 Some people's careers just go from strength to strength. For these people they are very motivated in their careers and they works towards what they want - whether it's a pay rise, bonus, new job etc. For others though they are focusing on what they don't want, or want they fear or what they feel frustrated about. How often have you missed on a pay rise or promotion?

How often have you been made redundant?  How often have "you started again" in your career? Have you ever heard yourself - "I don't want to made redundant", "I bet they get a pay rise and I don't"  "I know I won't get the promotion", "he's better than me"

People's careers stagnate with a focus on fears of redundancies, pay cuts, lack of job promotion, lack of opportunities etc. Change your focus and you will be amazed at the results you get.

Health & Fitness

Does your diet or motivation to get fit look like that graph? If it does then, start to take a closer look at what you are thinking about and what do you focus on in terms of your about health and fitness. Do you put on weight and then lose it, only to put it on again?

Have you ever focused your intent to lose weight for a holiday or wedding and then after the event you have put the weight back on again?

Do you say "I'll start the "diet" or go to the gym tomorrow? Do you blame certain foods for "making" you put on weight? Is food your friend or enemy?

Your reality - body shape, fitness, health, weight etc are all determined by your focus. You can see what your focusing on by the results that you have. If you haven't got the health and fitness that you desire, then start listening to the language you use and become aware of whether you are focusing on what you want to have instead of away from what you don't want.   

The Toward Person

How to be a 'Toward' person 

So, maybe you are fed up with a life that cycles through good and bad consistently?

The question is how do you change it?

Firstly let's look at the primary motivation in the make-up of the away from person. It is, quite simply "fear". 

The 'Away from' person is motivated to move away from what they fear. For example if they fear poverty then they will be highly motivated to get away from poverty when they are poor. The wealthier they become the less motivated they are, until they reach a crisis point where they are not motivated at all and then they will create the unconscious drama that plunges them back into poverty so they can start the process again. 

For someone to change their motivation from away froms to towards relies on the process of Time Line Therapy and Values. 

The first part of the change work would be to release all the stored up fear in the neurology. This is done with Time Line Therapy (TLT). If there is a LOT of fear then we may have to use TLT more than once. The next thing we would look at is the values of that person in each area of their lives. In other words we would elicit the unconscious values of the client in the areas of career, relationships, health and fitness and any other area that is proving to be a problem. 

We would then release all the '"away froms" within those value sets using TLT. Then we would do a values inventory with the client and look at the values level thinking areas that they are REJECTING. This leads us to the hidden limiting beliefs that may be prevalent and causing the 'away from' life strategies. 

On our NLP Practitioner course you start working with Time Line Therapy so, start your changes then.

On the New Masters Course all our students, not only understand and can do all this, but also experience all those changes within themselves. 

So, if you want to transform your life and rid yourself of all the ups and downs, then NLP and Time Line Therapy is for you.