Articles on NLP

On this page you will find a selection of articles reprinted from our annual and monthly newsletters. Click on any of the menu items to go straight to the article

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• An Inspiring Story. The story of someone with an abusive past and their journey to finding themselves on an NLP course.
• The Law of Attraction Explained. Much has been written on the Law of Attraction and this article clears up a few loose points! 
• Where does NLP Come From? The true story of where NLP came from and where its original roots were. Some surpises!
• Weight off Your Mind. A must read for anyone interested in weight loss
• Values Alignment. The importance of congruent values explained and why goals can elude you.
• NLP - the technology of coaching. The relationship between NLP and coaching 
• How is 2010 for you? Making 2010 a good one
• Money, Therapy and Happiness. The relationship between money, therapy and happiness and how investment in yourself pays off
• Money, Money, Money, it's a rich mans world. Why some people can make money and others can't
• Education is free - is that good? How free education sets us up our expectations in life and how we don't value personal development as a rule
• Pebbles in a Pond. The ripple effect or sometimes known as the butterly effect explained
• Master or Slave? A discussion on how we are either a slave to our minds or a master of them
• Behind the Scenes at Trainers Training. A behind the scenes look at the most prestigious training event of the year
• The Onion - crying optional! An explanation as to the layers of problems that we have from conscious to unconscious
• Expectations. How some people set themselves up to fall. 
• The Map is not the Territory Explained. An in depth article of Alfred Korzybski's theorem
• Another Reality. A moving and inspirational personal story from Kim Blackmore of her early life and how different it used to be from how it is now
• The Motivations in Life. Learn how we are all motivated differently and consequently get different results

 

An Inspiring Story

We are very fortunate to hear of many inspirational stories and to meet some very inspirational people during our courses. Often the people you least expect prove to be the most inspirational people of all.

A lady came on a recent NLP Practitioner Course and said right at the beginning that she was there to change her life. It wasn't until after her course that she wrote and told us of her life history and what she had achieved during that week on her course.

She grew up in an abusive family and ran away from home and got into drugs. She met a violent man and married him and he forced her to work as a prostitute. During the marriage the husband had 5 children with other women.

She suffered continual beatings until finally she left the home primarily to protect her baby. Due to the circumstances her baby was taken into care and the lady met and moved in with another abusive man. He spent the time telling her she was fat and ugly for three years before she found him in bed with her friend and he left.

She met a man who had an abusive past and they lived as a dysfunctional couple (her words) for 9 years - arguing constantly.

After that she met her current partner who encouraged her to start changing and to cut a long story short she ended up on our Practitioner course.

Her final part of her email said

"Well on my Prac course, I found me, the start of who I am becoming, and last night he (her partner) saw what the course had done for me. I was not afraid and I was 100% in my body, I was there and I was 100% connected with my partner.......That in itself has made it all worth while, I never EVER imagined that I could feel so connected to another person.. or be grown up and have sex with no fear!!

"I wanted you to know how much NLP has changed me and this for me was the BIGGEST thing of all."

This ladies life story was so traumatic that I had to tone it down for this email but what she has achieved is so much more than words can express.

All we can say is thank  to her for sharing and may this article be an inspiration to people who are stuck or unhappy and want to change their lives.

If she can do it....you can too!

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The Law of Attraction Explained

So we have all heard of the film the Secret which essentially is about the Law of Attraction, but do we really understand what the Law of Attraction is?

Allow me to explain some of the misconceptions about the Law of Attraction.

The first thing to note is that there is nothing new about the Law of Attraction. In fact the New York Times first spoke of the Law of Attraction in 1879 when relating an article on the gold rush.

However, it is not until the film "the Secret" that the Law of Attraction got noticed on a worldwide front.

As with anything that rises to the realms of popularity in a meteoric way there have been some misconceptions relating to how the Law of Attraction works.

Let's first define it.

The Law of Attraction essentially states that we can control our future and destiny with our thoughts. We can manifest things into our lives simply by thinking about it. Our thoughts inside our head can create and change things outside our head.

This has led to several misconceptions about the Law of Attraction - one being you just have to think about something you want and you will get it. This is not strictly true because their are 3 parts to the Law of Attraction.

Step one is to be specific and ask the universe for what you want. You do this by visualisation and you have to be specific.

Step two is to act as if what you want is on its way. You have to visualise, speak and believe this stage AND, this is the bit people forget, you have to put energy into getting it. In other words if you sit on the sofa visualising your wish it is unlikley to happen because you havent done anything about getting it. You haven't taken any action and hence you have not put the appropriate energy into getting it.

Step three. You have to be open to receiving it. You have to notice signs from the universe that it is on its way or that you are on the right path and if necessary, change direction in order to receive it.

To briefly summarise the Law of Attraction is NOT just about thinking you want something and it will arrive. You have to direct energy into the process!

For those of you who have done your NLP Practitioner Course you will see how the method of goal setting and getting aligns itself nicely with the Law of Attraction.

Of course the Law of Attraction works the other way too. Focus and visualise what you dont want - and you may well manifest that too!

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Where did NLP really come from?

We all know that NLP was derived from the works of Richard Bandler and John Grinder and I thought some of you would be interested in some more details as to what happened in those early years and, importantly, what was happening before Richard & John came onto the scene.

You are all aware that in the early 70s Richard Bandler modelled and transcribed the works of Fritz Perls and Virginia Satir. The language patterns that he found and replicated were then analysed by John Grinder using Transformational Grammar distinctions. This gave birth to the Meta Model Language of Therapy and subsequently the books "Structure of Magic" Volumes 1&2 (1975,1976)

At the time Transformational Grammar was part of the Cognitive Psychology movement being led by the likes of Noam Chomsky, George Miller, Eugene Gallanter and Karl Pribram. This "cognitive revolution" was the essence of where NLP came from. John Grinder did his Doctorate in Transformational Grammar and wrote the book "A Guide to Transformational Grammar" in 1973.

Bandler and Grinder were fascinated with George Millers development of the TOTE model and used it as the basis around which strategies could be identified within the structure of experience.

After that Gregory Bateson encouraged them to study the language patterns of Milton Erickson, which they duly did, and that formed the basis of the Milton Model Language patterns that we know today.

At the time Richard Bandler was running a study group at the Santa Cruz University and that became the first NLP study group. Out of that class came the likes of Robert Dilts, Judith DeLozier, Leslie Cameron-Bandler, Steve Gilligan and others who were the first group of leaders in the field of NLP.

So what happened BEFORE the above. Where did Perls and Satir and Bateson and Erickson get THEIR ideas from?

Actually they were all part of a larger movement in California called "The Human Potential Movement" or HPM for short.

This grew from the Esalen Institute in Big Sur (just up the road from Santa Cruz) which was created by Michael Murphy and Richard Price in 1962. In 1963 Fritz Perls moved onto the property and became the first residential scholar. In 1964 Virginia Satir moved there too and became the first Director of Training at Esalen. In 1964 Gregory Bateson also moved in as a residential scholar and stayed there until he died.

So the experts that Richard Bandler and John Grinder modelled were all living and working together as the second and third generation leaders in Human Potential Movement.

So who were the pioneers of HPM? Abraham Maslow was probably the key pioneer with others such as Will Shultz, Carl Rogers, Rollo May, Viktor Frankl adding to the scene.

It was Maslow who virtually single handedly created the shift of focus in psychology from studying sickness and pathology to studying health and excellence.

So NLP is a stepping stone from HPM and actually got its presuppositions from the Self Actualization Psychology of Maslow and Rogers.

The importance of all the above is to show that NLP is a lot more than a bunch of tools for treating a person. It is about unleashing and developing human potential within the human potential movement.

It is a combination of the Human Potential Movement and Cognitive Psychology Movement.

There you go......

Thanks to Michael L Hall for helping me fill in some of the details!

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Weight off your mind....... .
by Kim Blackmore

During the many sessions with 1-2-1 clients for weight loss; it has become very apparent that health is taken for granted and is rarely important to a client. This of course makes total sense. If something is not important to you, you will not spend time on it and certainly won't be motivated to take action.

I had a life-long battle with myself and my body. From the age of about thirteen I started my first diet and I was about a stone lighter and I felt fantastic!

Then for one reason and another I started to skip meals My metabolism went into starvation mode and I barely exercised and the weight went back on plus more besides. I used to punish myself with bulimia (bingeing and then making myself sick).

I was anorexic at the age of 22 and loved having control over myself.

My weight tells my life story very accurately; with each stage representing how I felt and my values at that time. This is where the connection of the mind is obvious, with whatever you think and focus on becoming your reality.

But what drives that??

Eating and food and emotions are absolutely connected. We (in general) like to eat certain foods (and this maybe outside of your conscious awareness) because we feel a certain way when eating them. For example, some people love chocolate and very simply they feel good when eating it. This might be because in the past during childhood, that chocolate was connected with good times such as Christmas, parties, friendship etc.

Most people will have foods that they dislike and even though they may not know it consciously; there will be a link to that food and a negative feeling or emotion.

Food choices are driven also by our unconscious values and motivations and what is important to us in the context of food. So for some might be about calorie content or for others it will be eating it because they can and they want to. (Read the next section on food and values levels - it explains so much!).

Also weight problems (over-weight, inconsistent weight, weight gain, under weight) is a presenting problem and representative of something else at a much deeper level of the unconscious. The solution is a re-alignment of values and letting go of negative emotions.

The presenting problems then just disappear...

Food and Values Level's

During Master Practitioner you will be introduced to Values Level thinking. This is a fascinating study of HOW people think at varying stages of their life and how some people get stuck in one way of thinking and this is reflected in their careers, relationships, family life, health and other areas too.

Values Level Thinking is a fascinating approach to understanding another person or your own Model of the World.

Values levels tell the story of personal evolution and you can clearly see how our behaviours and emotions change due to a change in thinking. This can be seen and represented in people's diets and approach to health.

There is no right values level and most people have a combination of values levels in their thinking - which sometimes leads to conflicted thoughts.

Values Level 1 - Survival
What is important to a person in this mode of thinking is survival and in the context of food and health; the person will eat to survive.

Values Level 2 - Family, Clan and traditions
Food is very much part of the family way of life and meals are taken together and enjoyed together. There are a lot of rituals and traditions around food such as Christmas or dinner-time or Birthdays.

Values Level 3 - Express Self and Want it now
In this mode of thinking, a person's future isn't important. They just want what they want and they want it now. In terms of food, this will mean that they will see the food and have an automatic response. This is where it is evident that food is directly linked with emotion.
It will also mean that their future health isn't important either because they living in the moment or with a very short time line into the future.
At this level the person may feel shame regarding their health or diet.

Values Level 4 - Sacrifice Now for Reward Later and Follow the book
In this values level, in the context of food and diets; we saw the explosion of diets. There are thousands of books with different diets from low fat, low calorie, high protein, low carb, high carb, high fat (mono fats). All of these diets promise that if you follow the rules of the diet and sacrifice calories or carbs or fat or protein; then you get your rewards at the end of the diet with the weight loss that you desire.
There will be negative emotions surrounding food. For example fear (what happens when you don't follow the rules for the diet), guilt (for not following the rules).
Often people who follow diets will dislike the rigidity of following a diet and then revert to values level 3 in their thinking and just take what food they want because they can.

Values Level 5 - Being the best and Reward Now
Values level 5 thinking is about being the best. In terms of health, this could mean that the person is very motivated to have the "best" body and this will be represented differently by each person depending on their motivation - this could be presented as body-building, toning every muscle, vitamin supplementation, memberships to top gyms/clubs, anorexia, exercise addiction etc.
The theme for this values level is also reward now; where food becomes a reward for good work.
The approach to food is much more scientific, with the breakdown of the food into it's component parts - calories, fat, protein etc.
Food choice will involve checking calories or fat values to see whether it fits in with the outcome.
There will not be much negative emotion around food with this way of thinking. Problems may come with the need to control.

Values Level 6 - Sacrifice Now for Reward Now
Values level 6 is about sharing and looking after the environment.
We can see that is why fair trade and organic food have become popular as these methods of farming have a more caring approach.
Food choices are made on whether the food has been ecologically grown and whether a fair price has been given.
Often, with this way of thinking there is guilt associated with food and what effect farming, growing and transporting the food has had on the environment.

Values Level 7 - Functional and Holistic
Food is energy. It is functional approach to diet whereby food choice is made by deciding what is the most nourishing food. . With this way of thinking, food has no emotional attachment and is purely for nourishment.
Also at this level there will be no negative emotions regarding food and a realisation that everyone has an individual diet that will give them the nutrition and nourishment they need for health and energy.
The Values Levels information has been adapted from understanding the work of Dr Clare Graves.

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Values Alignment

We know that values are generalisations of what is important to us and dictate how we spend our time and energy.

We know that values can be listed in a hierachy with the most important value at the top and the importance of each value lessening as we descend down the hierachy.

We know that if a particular value is not in the top 6 of our hierachy we will not spend any time on it or attaining it.

So what!! Surely the simple thing is to elicit the values and change them into a hierachy that makes sense!

Not quite! When dealing with values the first thing is always to get rid of what we call "away from" values. Let me explain.

We could have a value of "Happiness". Now that sounds good, doesn't it? Well, this is not necessarily the case because this value could be 100% away from "unhappiness" rather than being moving towards "happiness".

In this case the person will spend a lot of time focussed and moving away from unhappiness and, of course, whatever you focus on you will get!!

Also you will have the scenarios of them moving away from unhappiness to such an extent that they lose their motivation, create an unconscious crisis, so they can plunge back to unhappiness , so they can be motivated to move away from it again!! Not a healthy scenario.

Values alignment involves the following steps
1. Eliciting the values of the client and placing them in a hierachy
2. Discovering the towards and away froms within those values,
3. Getting rid of all the away froms
4. Rebuilding the hierachy so that it will support the conscious goals of the client.
The important thing to remember is that your conscious mind is your goal SETTER and the unconscious mind is the goal GETTER. If your values are misaligned or are full of "away from" values or are misaligned to your goals then you will be taken off track in getting or achieving your goal.

If you wish to learn more on values, experience this type of change work for yourself and learn how to do it then come and see us on our NEW Master Practitioner Course.

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NLP- the Technology for Coaching

These days many people either are interested in getting into coaching or, indeed, interested in having a coach of some description be it on an exectuive level or as a life coach.

Coaches are extremely useful in helping people focus and keep on track and achieve what they want to achieve.

Within the coachin framework however, there is an essential ingredient - NLP. Allow me to explain why.

People come to a coach usually because they are stuck in life. They are not making the progress that they wish and are generally feeling unfulfilled in their life goals. In other words they have certain barriers that are preventing them from moving forwards.

Conventional coaching does an excellent job at focussing the client on the future and giving a framework within which the client and coach can work. The problem is that unless any 'barriers' or 'blockages' are removed the client will remain stuck.

This is where NLP comes in. NLP is the technology that allows the coach to work with the client to remove the barriers that have previously prevented him fulfilling their potential. Once the barriers are removed then the conventional coaching can kick in and the client is off and running in the right direction.

The message is simple - if you are hiring a coach make sure they are NLP trained OR if you want to become a coach, make sure you get some NLP training.

To enrol in the NLP Coach course you will need to be in possession of an NLP Practitioner Certificate and a Time Line Therapy Practitioner Certificate.

To enrol in the NLP Master Coach Course you will need to be a Master Practitioner of NLP and Time Line Therapy

Please note that the NLP Coaching Course dates are the 13th & 14th March, 2010 and there will be no further coaching courses this year. So if you want the qualification make sure you are on that course!

Click here to enquire about the NLP Coach or Master Coach Course

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How is 2010 for you?

How is the year going for you and how different is it from 2009?

I asked this question from someone the other day and the reply was that 2010 had started out going the same way as 2009. The person was in a rut in his life, had been for a few years and had said to me that 2010 was going to be HIS year.

"That's a shame" I said "what are you doing differently this year that hasn't worked so far?"

"Nothing is different and everything is the same" came the reply.

"Your insane!" I said

"Eh?"

"Einstein defined insanity as someone who does exactly the same thing time after time and expects different results" I replied "so maybe there is something to learn!"

So if you want 2010 to be different from 2009 then I hope that YOU are doing things differently to last year.

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Money, Therapy & Happiness

Therapy is 32 times more cost effective at increasing happiness than money says the latest research from the Universities of Warwick and Manchester.

A massive pay rise or even winning the National Lottery may not offer as much joy as talking about your problems, researchers have found.

They warn that often we overestimate how much money will increase our happiness.

The boost to personal happiness triggered by an £800 course of therapy is equivalent to a pay rise of over £25,000, their findings show.

Chris Boyce, from Warwick University, who led the research, said: "Money isn't that effective at making people happy.

"Of course if you win £40 million on the lottery it is going to change your life massively but there will be down sides attached to this.

"Psychological therapy is a very effective way of increasing people's wellbeing."

"On a day-to-day basis it is a question of what we want to aspire to, more income or better access to mental health."

He added: "Often the importance of money for improving our wellbeing and bringing greater happiness is vastly overvalued in our societies.

"The benefits of having good mental health, on the other hand, are often not fully appreciated and people do not realise the powerful effect that psychological therapy, such as non-directive counselling, can have on improving our wellbeing."

The findings are published in the journal Health Economics, Policy and Law

Editor's comment - remember the word therapy has a multitude of meanings. Anything that assists you in making changes to the way you think could be classed as therapy. We have long since known that people are significantly happier and more successful following an NLP course - i.e. where the student learns to think differently - hence the above findings are NOT a surprise. However its nice to have our knowledge confirmed by science!

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Money, money money.. it's a rich man's world??
By Kim Blackmore, Certified Trainer of NLP

• Do you want more money?
• Do you want to know how to make money?
• Would money solve your problems?
• Does money give you options?
• Do you work hard for money?
Most of us, myself included, have spent our lives working for money and wanting to find ways to make more money. I'm now going through a process of re-educating myself about money, changing my beliefs, values and attitudes around money.

"I can't afford it"

Did you know there is are trillions of pounds going around the world. If you haven't got enough money or can't do what you want to do; are you saying to yourself.

- I can't afford it? For many this has become a mantra and of course a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What would happen if you said to yourself "How can I afford this?" - asking yourself this question will bring you solutions and results and the money that you need or want. Give it a go - I guarantee results!

What is money?

It's an exchange for energy/work. We used to use the barter system and it is still in use today; however we now exchange money for goods and services.

Money is not real.

Money Beliefs

What do you assume to be true about money?

Remember we model beliefs, values and attitudes from our parents from a very early age. You may even have conflicting values or beliefs as you meet people with different beliefs.

Here are some common beliefs, sayings or attitudes about money.

1. "Never be rich" - If you believe it, it will become your reality. What would happen if you believed that you could be rich, if you had values to support it?

2. "You need to save money to have money"- this has an underlying assumption that there is a shortage or will be a shortage. Also how many people have bought something in the sales that they will never wear or use? Find a way to have various income streams.

3. "The rich get richer, the poor get poorer" - this is because of the strategies that the rich have, which are very different to the strategies of the poor. There are many more lottery winners who are either broke or bankrupt in a few years .

4. "The government should look after me" - either in benefits or pension. What would happen if you were completely self-sufficient (now and in the future)

5. "Work to live" - if you work to live, you will never be rich and you will probably not be as happy as you would like to be. Find your passion and do what you love and then live to work.

6. "Money is the root of evil" - How can a piece of paper or credit card be evil? It can only be the attitude or intent of the person using it.

7. "Money is dirty" - well it doesn't really wash very well, does it?

8. "If you work hard you will get money" - This is assuming all work is hard and that only "hard" work brings in money. Does everyone that works hard get the money equivalent?

9. "Some people just get it on a plate" - those people have strategies, beliefs and values that enable them to receive money easily.

10. "Money doesn't grow on trees" - a common saying that is true; however it is very unhelpful. Again it implies a shortage or it's inaccessible

11. "There is a recession" - recession is a behaviour; we recess, stop spending out of fear. Fear will stop you from being able to think clearly about finances.

Smart Money

I highly recommend the book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" Robert T. Kiyosaki and "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill. It may well change the way you think about money forever.

During your NLP training, you can uncover, re-assess and change your beliefs, values and attitudes towards money.

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Education is Free - is that good?
By Kim Blackmore, Certified Trainer of NLP

• Do you value learning?
• Do you spend money on learning and your education?
• Is self-development important to you?
• Do you spend time finding new skills and abilities?
• Do you invest in adding to your skills?
• Do you think qualifications are a waste of time?
Are you waiting for your company to train you - because they "should" develop you?
Our State education system is completely free and it has been of great benefit to many, that education is free with people getting opportunities that they might not have come across.

However, a free education system sets up a mindset that education/learning is not valuable (if money means valuable and worthwhile) and that you are not responsible for your continuing education and learning. I still believed into early adulthood that learning and education should be free and someone else should pay for developing me (interesting mindset!).

For a while I thought qualifications were pointless. Yes, they are just pieces of paper and if you never utilise the skills that you were taught then yes, perhaps they are pointless.

Then I sussed it, well sort of! I decided that to earn more money then I needed more skills and to educate myself. I spent a few thousand pounds on getting additional technical qualifications in my twenties so that I could start IT contracting. That investment earned me approximately an additional £100,000 within two years and various promotional opportunities subsequently.

However, I didn't think to spend money on developing my other skills such as communication and I really needed to! I thought that I would just learn these along the way and I thought that how I was as a person was how I was; it wasn't something that I could truly change and develop.

Time for another light bulb. In my late twenties, I discovered that I could learn new "soft skills". The "soft skills" were what really helped me change my life - the way I felt, my attitude, my behaviours and my beliefs.

I have continued to invest time and money into my development ever since - books, workshops, seminars, courses, training, Cd's etc etc. I have learned the value in investing in my education and my future and I know it will continue to pay dividends for me for the rest of my life. Is that worth learning?

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Pebbles in a Pond or the Butterfly Effect

By Bruce M Farrow, Certified Master Trainer of NLP

The Butterfly Effect has its origin in Chaos Theory. It states that a butterfly flapping its wings causes a microscopic change in the atmospheric environment. This then causes a chain reaction of greater changes culminating in a large scale alteration of the atmospheric system that may cause a tornado to either be created, or to cease or to divert.

I like to apply the butterfly theory to the social system that we inhabit.

If you make a positive change in your life, how many people benefit from that change. Then take it a step further. How do the people who benefit enhance the lives of others......and so it goes on.

Whatever you do in your life has a ripple or butterfly effect.

Let's see how it can work.

You change a limiting belief in yourself from "I am not good enough" to a new one, "I am TOTALLY good enough."

You go home and all of a sudden you have more confidence in your relationship and your work. Your relationship improves, your partner is happier and becomes more productive in their own career. People notice and the company they work for makes more money and the staff benefit from the increased profits. Now, maybe 100 people are feeling the effect of you changing your limiting belief. They all go home with a few more pounds in their pockets and their families benefit. Their families impact their own circle of friends and family.

Meanwhile in your career things start to change. You now believe you are good enough to do any job and this gets recognised and you get promoted. With your new outlook your staff benefit and are happier. You have just had an impact on maybe 50 people who will then go and impact their own social circle.

So by changing one belief you could impact thousands of people indirectly.

Everything we do creates a ripple of good or not so good on our social system. This ripple can become large and take a life of its own.

This is always a great time of year to reflect back and notice all the things that YOU have achieved in the last year. It is also a time to look forward and begin to focus on what improvements you will make to your life next year.

This is all good stuff and very valuable.

Now take it a step further. Think of the improvements you have made and how they have impacted others, and how that has impacted a different circle and how they have impacted another ever growing circle.

Think of everything that you want to change, but haven't quite got round to. How many people does this effect intimately, and how many people do they effect etc. Your behaviour impacts everyone on this planet in some way.

The impact of not changing for the better is huge............................

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Master or Slave?

By Kim Blackmore, Certified Trainer of NLP

If you are like me or how I used to be, I just used to respond or react to what life threw at me. I got stressed commuting, at work and sometimes at home. Things would just happen.

I'd wake feeling cr*p and wait for something to happen to make me feel better. I remember I used to say, "oh I wish something good would happen"..

I used to wait for my family, job, holiday, new car, partner or situations to "make me feel happy"..

I used to feel out of control of how I felt and what emotional state I would be in.. I was a slave to my unconscious mind...

Did you know that how you react or respond in situations is based on past experiences and your automatic nervous system takes control.? For example, when you know that you have got to give a presentation, do you start to feel nervous or anxious?

Every experience, situation and person in your life in the past, now and in the future will trigger an automatic response in you. Sometimes you may have an overwhelming strong response either positively or negatively to someone or something. All emotional responses are due to the past programming that you have.

When you are a slave to your unconscious mind, you will be completely unaware that people, experiences and situations are triggering past experiences and therefore past emotional states.

When you become a Master of your own mind, you decide how you feel and you can stop the automatic triggers.

Opening and expanding your awareness of yourself and others will enable in control of your state, your life and your future. The path to opening this awareness and for giving you tools to be able to master your own mind is through learning the techniques and mindset of NLP.

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Behind the Scenes at NLP Trainers Training

By Bruce M Farrow, Certified Master Trainer of NLP

As Kim & I stepped off the plane in Bangkok and caught the distinct aromas of Thailand, we knew that this was going to be special.

Take twelve dedicated students with a thirst for knowledge for NLP, fly them 6000 miles to one of the most stunning countries in the world, put them up in one of the best hotels in the Far East, feed them the most delicious food and then put them into a training that allowed them to push their boundaries further than they could have ever imagined........well, it was always going to be good!

The venue was the Hyatt Regency in Hua Hin, which is about two and a half hours south of Bangkok, on the Gulf of Thailand. Hua Hin is the summer residence for the King of Thailand so is more traditional Thai with little of the glitzy touristy side that other more well known resorts are famous for.

The hotel was stunning. I had been there a couple of times before and knew it was good. However they exceeded our expectations in every sense. The bedrooms are luxury personified. The food is exquisite. The ambience is peace and calm and the hotel staff could not do enough for our group. The whole location is amazingly beautiful.

People had asked me "Why do Trainers Training in Thailand?" and I am not sure they understood my answer until they had experienced the training.

NLP Trainers Training is more than a training (like most NLP Courses!). It is the ultimate in personal development as well as teaching the students all the skills of presenting to both the conscious and unconscious minds simultaneously. It is a tough course lasting 24 days and to make it a lifetime experience it is essential it is located in a special place.

I know people who have attended Trainers Trainings and commuted every day. Was it a life time experience to them-probably not!

The other reason we held the training in Thailand was it was a whole lot cheaper for the students than it would have been if we had held it in the UK. Cost of venues in the UK are, to put it mildly, ridiculous, and put on top of that the inflated prices that we have to pay for very average hotel rooms and you can see my point! In Thailand we can put the students up in one of the finest hotels for about the same as they would pay for a budget hotel in the UK. The training rooms in the Far East are much more glamorous and much larger too!

There was one other reason we went to Thailand-the culture and the people.

Our students were going to work very hard for a month. They were going to be pushing their boundaries on a daily basis and it was important that during their down time, they had the serenity, peace and calm that the Thai people and the culture offers.

So there we were with our students with 24 training days ahead of us.

On the run up to Thailand Kim and I spent many days and a few late nights talking though our objectives for the training.

We both had the same goals and objectives-we analysed other Trainers Trainings and compared notes on our experiences when we had attended them. We looked at what worked (and incorporated it), we looked at what didn't work and asked ourselves why it didn't work. If we could make it work we changed it and if we couldn't we binned it! Most importantly we looked at what challenges NLP Trainers faced when they came off traditional NLP Trainers Trainings. There were a couple of major ones that kept coming up.

The first issue that NLP Trainers faced after their training was a lack of confidence and, in some cases, knowledge in presenting EVERY NLP topic.

The second issue was one of having no idea how to run an NLP Training company.

So we set out to solve these two issues during our training.

Kim and I set ourselves an objective that by the final day in evaluation ALL our students would be able to present ANY NLP topic with no notes. To do this they would have to embed the knowledge from NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner in a way that they could access unconsciously. If we achieved this there would be no question that our trainers NLP knowledge (and confidence) would be at a higher level than any other new trainer on the planet.

The other objective we set ourselves was to provide enough information to our students on how to run an NLP Training company. Between us, Kim & I have probably made all the mistakes (most costly) and by sharing our business knowledge on the NLP market we knew we would be giving our students all the tools to be successful.

Obviously it would be up to them to use the tools and the knowledge we gave them, and we had every confidence that they would.

So we designed the course to turn 12 Master Practitioners into magical presenters who could present ANY NLP topic with TOTAL confidence and who had enough information on the business skills required to allow them to go and train people.

Essentially we set out to develop those people into 12 of the finest new NLP Trainers in the world. Nothing like setting the bar too low is there?

So we told the students in their delegate guidance what we expected and many of them started early in their preparations towards the training.

During the training we morphed each day according to their performances the previous day. They grew.

As the weeks progressed the bar continued to be raised-and they grew more.

During evaluation they completed what IS the toughest NLP Trainers written examination in the world and nearly half of them got over 90%. Two of them scored 233 out of 235. This was the quality of our students.

On the final day of evaluation all of them presented topics that we gave them, with no notice, with no notes. Job done!

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 The Onion.. Start to peel.. (crying optional!)

By Kim Blackmore, Certified Trainer of NLP
 
You know people that put up barriers...

Perhaps frightened of showing who they really are
Putting a lid on emotions
Worried or fearful what others might think
Holding back on how good they are
To stop themselves from getting hurt
Afraid at showing their feelings
Told that showing emotions is weak

 

I think we all do or have done to some extent or another. It's almost like we are playing a role out and we really want to be ourselves and there are so many rules about who we should or shouldn't be or what we should and shouldn't do.

I love the analogy that we are onions! With these barriers and layers around our true selves our real potential.

Many people put up these barriers unconsciously as a protection mechanism and through fear of people seeing the "real them".

Sometimes when we react unconsciously (automatically) we find a part of our personality that we don't like or think others don't like. We then try and cover that part of the personality up. A lot of stress that we experience comes from this process of putting up these barriers.

Ok, so for the first layer of the onion...

During an NLP Practitioner course, you will enjoy peeling back those outer layers and barriers that you have. This is the first step towards self-development. You will work with and resolve the barriers, boundaries or limits that you are consciously aware of.

You will find new strategies (automatic) for situations that used to cause you to put your barriers up. You will find life more fulfilling as you are able to let go of the barriers and allow your positive emotions of love, peace, joy and happiness to flow into your life.

You will also be able to access positive resourceful states easily and effortlessly which will enable you to get the results in your life .. Fast.

During the NLP Master Practitioner course.. You will start to peel back more layers and barriers around the onion. This is where you will become consciously aware of blocks and barriers that are held at a deeper level of the unconscious mind.

You will become very aware of beliefs, values and thoughts that are completely unconscious to you at the moment and which might be the very barriers to your success and all-round happiness.

Your self-development will enable you to resolve blocks and limits. Once you have done this your goals will get bigger and bigger, so that you can enjoy the reality that you really want. Be, do and have whatever you choose.

Self-development will bring you results. If you want to accelerate your self development, then NLP is for you.

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Expectations

By Kim Blackmore, Certified Trainer of NLP

In life, we get what we expect to get or what we focus our thoughts, time and energy on. If our focus is on the past and what we used to have or how hard it used to be; then you can expect more of that in the future.

What have you already decided about your relationships, family life, career, health and fitness?

Do you have any doubts, anxiety, uncertainty about your future?

Are you focused on goals for the future or do you just wait for life to just happen to you?

Perhaps you're looking out at the future and you know that if you continue thinking as you are, then your future doesn't look the way you want it to.

Perhaps you have already decided that 2010 is the year of change. For many people, this is the perfect year to change as we go into a new decade.

Here is a little process to check where your focus is and what you future timeline is like.

Close your eyes.. Not now.. Once you have finished the article!! :-)

Be honest with yourself too during this process.

Go out 3 months into your future? What do you see? What do you feel?

Just let your imagination flow..

Then go out 6 months from now. What do you see?

Finally go 3 years out into your future. What do you see?

This is what you are expecting in your future because of what you have been thinking about and focusing on.

Do you like what you are seeing/hearing/feeling?

Does your future look pretty much the same as it does now. Do you feel inspired by your thoughts of the future?

Have you achieved the goals (if you set them)?

We want you to have the most amazing future and if you feel uninspired, flat, de-motivated about what you see in your future, then we have an incredible process to teach you to help you change your future. It is called Time Line Therapy^TM (Creating Your Future® Techniques).

This technique will show you a way of letting go of the past- negativity, negative emotions, limiting decisions that are holding you back and sapping your energy.

2010 could be the start of a fantastic personal journey for you and an opportunity to start creating your future in the way you want it rather than waiting for it to happen.

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The Map is Not the Territory - Explained

By Bruce M Farrow, Certified Master Trainer of NLP

In 1931 the Polish American Scientist and Philosopher, Alfred Korzybski gave a paper at the American Association for the Advancement of Science in New Orleans, Louisiana. In the paper he spoke about the concept of the map is not the territory.

He developed the theory in his book "Science & Sanity" (1933) where he stated that any map may have a structure that is either similar or dissimilar to the structure of the territory and that the map is not the territory.
This was a significantly different way of thinking to conventional Aristotelean thinking which supported the idea that things just ARE a certain way and you can describe them in some finite and satisfactory way and the concept that ideas are either right or wrong.

It was also contrary to Newtonian physics which essentially stated that The world is considered a collection of finite, separate phenomena that can be studied in isolation from anything else.
Alfred Korzybski was at the beginning of something called General Semantics and he, amongst others started to disprove conventional science, thanks in part to relativity theory and quantum physics. You could no longer regard physical objects and phenomena as unchangeable, finite constructs that could be studied in isolation. Things were found to be much more interdependent and fluid than earlier assumed.
This was the start of General Semantics, a Non-Aristotelean system, which provided a system of logic and of studying man's relation to his world, to accompany the new, more holistic and fluid, models of science.

So what exactly does "the map is not the territory" mean.

Put simply the world is what it is. We can make all kinds of maps and models of how the world works, and some of them can be very useful, and we can talk about them with great benefit. But the models and maps and any words one can put together can never do more than approximate the actual world or the actual phenomena being examined. The actual territory is beyond verbal description.

As humans we make abstractions all the time. An "abstraction", as used here, is that one simplifies, condenses, or symbolizes what is going on in order to better talk about it or think about it.

For example, if I walk down the street, I might experience an event taking place. My perceptions in themselves constitute an abstraction. Different people will experience the event differently, depending on where they perceive it from and how their perceptions work, and it will never be more than a portion of what went on, passed through certain filters of perception. So, I will record certain sights, sounds, feelings and so forth, which will form my representation of the event. I might then start describing what I experienced and that will abstract it further. I could say "I saw two cars, a blue Ford going west and a green Honda going east, and the blue car was going to turn left, but then the green car swerved out of its way and hit it".

 

My description might give somebody else an idea of what went on, but really it is a very imprecise approximation of what I actually perceived, which is again an imprecise approximation of what actually went on. The next day I might create a further abstraction by simply saying that I saw "an accident".

If somebody took my verbal description of an accident as WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED, then all kinds of mistakes might come out of that. But if one always realizes that it is only a map, and that different maps might be drawn for the same territory, then it becomes much easier to reconcile differences.

Whatever one can say about something isn't it. Whatever you can say about a chair is NOT a chair. The chair is what it is, something fundamentally unspeakable. If that is recognized then language and models are of course very useful in daily life.

So what is the point?

Most disagreements, arguments, fights, and wars come out of the failure to recognize all factors, all views, and from relying on maps of reality that don't correspond to what is actually going on.

People argue based on their own maps and fail to realize that others use different maps.

When that gets cleared up and together we look at reality, then most conflicts evaporate!

For those of you who are interested you can still get hold of copies of Science & Sanity but I will warn you before you fork out your $250. It is VERY heavy going and is 800 pages long. Be warned!

With thanks to Michael L Hall

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Another Reality

By Kim Blackmore, Certified Trainer of NLP

I've been there.. Well probably!
 
For much of my teenage years, my "models" were probably not the best choice. The first person I started to model during this period was my best friend. She was thin.. Very thin. She was probably about three stone underweight and didn't eat. She was an anorexic and had had a history of abuse in her past.
 
Unconsciously, I started to model her eating habits and behaviours, because I wanted to have the ability that she had to control her emotions, weight and herself.
 
I started to drop meals and dress sizes........

Then when I was around 16 I lost the urge to get out and about and be with people. I used to sit and eat.
 
Going to work at the age of 18, partly I found amazing because I was in the big city earning proper money! The other part of me found it to be a million miles outside of my comfort zone and the adjustment took me years because of my mindset.
 
I avoided socialising after work and during work time I just got my head down to work. It was most uncomfortable and I was very frustrated with my inability to communicate with others and build relationships and friendships.
 
During my first relationships, I was paranoid and unhappy with myself.
 
I promised myself that I would look better and feel better. So ensued another diet. This time I was serious. At 5.5 stone, I was in total control. Yet, I also was breaking down.. I couldn't take anymore mentally. I would cry for hours, for seemingly no reason. I really didn't want to be on the planet anymore.

Strangely and thankfully I had a deep down there was still a determination to keep going and to find strength.
 
Slowly I started to recover physically, mentally and emotionally. Although I still don't know how I managed to get jobs and keep them with my lack of communication skills. Fortunately for me, a technical IT job involved systems and Pc's rather than people, which I preferred back then.
 
To "cope" socially and to feel confident in myself, I discovered alcohol and drugs. Finally I felt vaguely normal and being able to go out socially like everyone else.
 
I could drink.. A lot .. And still look pretty sober. I took various drugs to escape the way I felt. Sometimes, with the combinations of drugs that I took, I am very surprised that I woke up the next day!
 
Something had to change. I had to change otherwise my future was going to be very much the same.
 
Someone sent me an email.. I will always be very grateful to them. The email was about how aspartame "caused" depression (which I also used to do very well!). That email started me on an unforgettable journey.
 
After giving up diet drinks, I started to feel different, better..
 
Then I enrolled on a Nutrition degree course and learnt more and more about the mind and body and how they are connected.
 
Then I opened my mind to meditation.
 
Next I saw an advert about NLP and how it could improve your communication skills...
 
The rest as they say is history... I think and feel so different and have a completely different outlook on life. That's just priceless.

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The Motivations in Life

If you do then read on!!!  There are principally two ways in which the human being is motivated in life. They either move towards what they want or move away from what they don't want. If you want consistent results in life then moving towards whatt you want is the most effective AND easiest way to achieve what you want, and then holding onto it! If you want a life that is up and down where, you get near to what you want and then have a crisis, and then have to do it all again, then the 'away from' strategy will work for you! The graph illustrates the sort of life that is a result of moving away from what you want. Unfortunately it is not as easy as just saying - I am going to be motivated towards what I want. Our behaviour is run by our unconscious and that determines ultimately how and why we motivate ourselves to move either towards what we want or away from what we dont want. The majority of people in the western world run 'away from' strategies - in other words they consistently try and move away from what they don't want or fear, and then when they have moved far enough away from whatever it is (e.g poverty) , they will create an unconscious crisis in their life, so they can plunge back and be remotivated again to move away again. Hence the life of consistent up and downs. So somewhere in your unconscious you will be running a program that will determine your motivation strategy at the deepest unconscious level. So let's see how an "away from" life looks in the different areas of life. Everyday Life Ever heard the expression "I'm getting away for the weekend" or "it will be good to get away from it all". These are the giveaways in our language for what we are doing at the unconscious level. A holiday could be a reward for all the hard work that you have put in during the year OR it could be your way of getting away from everyday life (which you don't like). It's an interesting thought that a holiday can either be a reward or an 'escape'. Let's see what happens when you come back from your holiday? The person who is motivated towards what they want will say "great holiday, and lets put another in the calender as a reward for all the hard work that we will be doing in the next year". They then will move towards the next holiday becoming increasingly motivated as they get closer to it. The person motivated by moving away from what they fear or don't want will return home and say "great holiday but it was too short and now I am back to reality". They are focussing of course on what they don't want in life - maybe the mundaneness of life, maybe they have a boring life, maybe they have a life full of problems. Whatever they are focussing on they will of course get! How about the term "I am going to move away from here" when it comes to moving house". Many people move house to get away from something in their life rather than move towards what they want in life. Of course whatever they 'try' and move away from they are focussing on so it will regenerate itself in perhaps another way in their new home. Relationships Here is a big one. Do you or have you in the past changed a relationship to get away from what you don't want or have you changed it to move towards what you want. If you have a history of poor relationships you are probably moving away from what you don't want in life and, it keeps regenerating itself. The thing is that until you rid yourself of the focus of what you don't want, things will not change. You will continue to have relationships that look like the graph! Now here is the thing. On the basis of perception is projection (the theory from Carl Jung that what you see in others is often a reflection of something you are not happy within yourself), then if you have a history of poor relationships maybe you are running away from yourself! Maybe the problems you perceive in your relationship are with you, and not your partner? Moving away from what you don't want, in the context of relationships does NOT work! People who move towards what they want in relationships will tend to have longer and increasingly happy relationships.

 

Career

 Some people's careers just go from strength to strength. For these people they are very motivated in their careers and they works towards what they want - whether it's a pay rise, bonus, new job etc. For others though they are focusing on what they don't want, or want they fear or what they feel frustrated about. How often have you missed on a pay rise or promotion?How often have you been made redundant?How often have "you started again" in your career?Have you ever heard yourself - "I don't want to made redundant", "I bet they get a pay rise and I don't"  "I know I won't get the promotion", "he's better than me"

People's careers stagnate with a focus on fears of redundancies, pay cuts, lack of job promotion, lack of opportunities etc. Change your focus and you will be amazed at the results you get.

 

Health & Fitness

Does your diet or motivation to get fit look like that graph? If it does then, start to take a closer look at what you are thinking about and what do you focus on in terms of your about health and fitness. Do you put on weight and then lose it, only to put it on again?Have you ever focused your intent to lose weight for a holiday or wedding and then after the event you have put the weight back on again?Do you say "I'll start the "diet" or go to the gym tomorrow?Do you blame certain foods for "making" you put on weight? Is food your friend or enemy?Your reality - body shape, fitness, health, weight etc are all determined by your focus. You can see what your focusing on by the results that you have. If you haven't got the health and fitness that you desire, then start listening to the language you use and become aware of whether you are focusing on what you want to have instead of away from what you don't want.     

 How to be a 'Toward' person 

So, maybe you are fed up with a life that cycles through good and bad consistently? The question is how do you change it. Firstly let's look at the primary motivation in the make-up of the away from person. It is, quite simply "fear". The 'Away from' person is motivated to move away from what they fear. For example if they fear poverty then they will be highly motivated to get away from poverty when they are poor. The wealthier they become the less motivated they are, until they reach a crisis point where they are not motivated at all and then they will create the unconscious drama that plunges them back into poverty so they can start the process again. For someone to change their motivation from away froms to towards relies on the process of Time Line Therapy and Values. The first part of the change work would be to release all the stored up fear in the neurology. This is done with Time Line Therapy (TLT). If there is a LOT of fear then we may have to use TLT more than once. The next thing we would look at is the values of that person in each area of their lives. In other words we would elicit the unconscious values of the client in the areas of career, relationships, health and fitness and any other area that is proving to be a problem. We would then release all the '"away froms" within those value sets using TLT. Then we would do a values inventory with the client and look at the values level thinking areas that they are REJECTING. This leads us to the hidden limiting beliefs that may be prevalent and causing the 'away from' life strategies. On the New Masters Course all our students, not only understand and can do all this, but also experience all those changes within themselves. 

So, if you want to transform your life and rid yourself of all the ups and downs, then the Masters Program is for you.

 

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